My Bucket List

I am so ashamed.

I haven't posted for over a year or more. I was completely eaten by requirements and personal ventures, that I have forgotten the wonders of blogging. Another embarrassing revelation is the slow decline of my vocabulary bucket. I seem to have faded into the background of metaphors. The fact that I haven't touched a decent novel for months felt like sin itself. I need to get back to my good old days- where dreams become my living breath. Nah, I still have tons of things to do, so I'd settle for this bucket list challenge instigated by our Intercultural Communication Instructor.

1. Pray. Eat. Laugh 
I'd like to express my faith with the company of food and friends. I have a couple of close friends who'd like to see the majestic infrastructures of the city within a city. I might not get the chance to greet the Pope personally, but there are many places to conquer, I mean visit in this wonderful land. Vatican city is the perfect spot for self-reflection topped with lots of fun-filled jaw dropping moments.
2. Falling Feels Like Flying
Up or down? Who cares! As long as I could dive from a thousand feet mountain in Switzerland. I once joked about losing consciousness in the midst of sky diving, but now that I thought of it, it may actually be possible. My knees would tremble from the pressure, and I probably won't be able to stand for a few minutes after doing this dauntless feat. Well, that's the downside after letting go of all emotion and stress from a hard day's work.
3. Love and Fear
I wanna get married underwater in Palawan. I have a slight fear of drowning, so I'd love to take the challenge and probably surprise my future hubby (whoever he is). There may be more than one innuendo to this, but I'd like to relish both love, fear and excitement at once. All my relationships are Plutonic ever since I was birthed by my mother, so I haven't had the chance to use endearments on anyone. As far as I know, I'm already filled with the love of friends and family, so no need to look for the attention from that significant other. Perhaps my prince just got lost in the woods or forgot the poem he wrote for me, that's why he's taken an ample amount of time to find me.
4. Selfie Moment with "the king"
Everyone who watched Game of Thrones must be quite familiar with King Jeoffrey and his sadistic and egotistic ways. I was captivated by his prowess in acting, considering that he's an aspiring comedian. I'd like to take a selfie with Jack Gleeson aka King Jeoffrey once I get my lazy bum to Ireland someday.
5. Colorful Skies
Oh Northern lights! I wanna see you for real, so I'd go fly over to Norway to get the best view of my colorful and dreamy sky.
6. My World Beyond Paper
The dream of writing and publishing a novel has not lost its appeal to me. In fact, it grows stronger each time. I'd love to live in a riveting world where secret doors lead to wonderland. Cliche, but true. In the future where I live, I'd like my house to be cluttered with books; books on stands, books on walls, books on the bathroom, books in every nook and cranny of my threshold.
7. Drool Over a Kabuki - A kabbuki is actually a traditional Japanese dance theatre play, whose entire cast is made of men. Yes men! Even female roles are filled with alluring men whose acting skills could fool the ignorant. //wink
8. A Student of Hogwarts for a Day
London is the place for Harry Potter and company. I've read the book and watched the movies, so what's stopping me from visiting the set of the renowned school of witchcraft and wizardry?
9. Food Porn to the Nth Level
Controlling my food intake is harder than balancing accounting stuff. So yeah, I'd visit the best restaurants just to experience different mouthwatering moments. I'd love to savor every bite of every dish, and still hope that I won't gain that much weight in the process.
10. Walk on Heat
Most people would give me a skeptic look once I mention my crazy dare: walking on an Egyptian desert just to see those terribly ancient blocks formed to become pyramids. Who knows, I might get to see the bones of History itself. I'd love to visit Stonehenge one day too, but the pyramids are on a higher priority in my list

i'm a snail

             have you ever felt lethargy creeping in despite all of your efforts to remain active? i've had many experiences with this sort of thing. i fail to amuse myself and others with the procrastination and sloth like manner when dealing with things. i haven't even posted here for eons. and the lowercase letters are all due

my laziness on trying to edit my post. see the effects of lethargy? well, this is just the beginning.

             house chores, reports, deadlines and whatnots are things most people would prioritize in this age

group. i myself am focusing on these things along with constant prayers to our Lord. i'm happy that amidst

all the lethargic deeds i've done, i'm still calling to Him and thanking him for everything that's worth my life. most people would not do the same. anyway, back to the topic. i should be doing other things now, but my lethargy calls for a seat in front of the computer and spending my time on nonsense things. i should be helping

out my grandma who's still in the hospital, but my lethargy calls for a break. all these things make me feel guilty and i just want to stop thinking and let go of my words and post my disappointment on my self.

             the reputation of lethargy comes with a price- i'm slow, direct and hanging on my statements, which is why i'm ending this nonsensical post. i would recommend that whoever reads this would not resort to the same laziness that i'm currently facing, but instead try to deal with life in an active and energetic manner.

Communication

      

      Each of us is bound to some degree of reprieve. In my case, I could always rely on honest communication. We could cross many lines in one word or we could bridge gaps in just a simple tap on the shoulder. Life is easier that way. Apprehensions could be relieved and stress could go one notch lower. I just wish that actual conversations could exist in a time like ours, when technology kills the art of living and degrades the etiquette of language.

       I am not totally against the haste of rising technology today. It actually made things that we once thought impossible happen. I could site a million instances when technology made life easier for me, but what came along with that is a billion moments when life rushes by with a speed of a jet plane- fast and fleeting. Also, communication is more efficient if done personally. However, too much texting, chatting and emailing could break the personal touch that an actual conversation covers.

       There are two ways to communicate to others. It could be done verbally or non-verbally. written communication, speech and conversations are considered verbal communication, whereas gestures, physical reactions and facial expressions are non-verbal ways of communication. There is much to talk when it comes to communicating with different people, but I'd rather not divulge too much, else this post would be too draggy.

       A simple smile or a light hug could actually ease the tension that one feels, although, I myself hates too much skin contact from the opposite sex. I could still attest to my claim earlier concerning the light actions from people. A hug could lift your spirits, or in my case loosen up my anxiety over an interview. 

       Don't forget to tell or show your love to people around you when you have the time, instead of losing the rest of your day to mindless internet gawking. Believe me, the world looks more picturesque when we laugh and comfort one another.

      

Untitled Piece

Here's the story telling piece I wrote. I'm not so sure if this will  win us the favor of the judges, but I would like an honest opinion from you guys. Thanks for reading, and spending  your time with this crappy or whatever post. Happy reading !

              In a small shaggy apartment, lives a family of two: a mother and a daughter. Day by day, they live with their heads held high in their low ceilinged residence. They wake as the first rays of light penetrate the handmade bed where they lay, cold but comfortable in each other’s warmth.  Meager meals of potatoes or corn fill their bellies after saying their morning prayers.  After that, the daughter, Shiela, would arduously do her daily routines before heading off to the nearest school.

            One foggy morning, Shiela was leaping from rock to rock to avoid the wet muddy ground. The downpour from the previous night created loud noisy steps as she made her way to school. Splash! Splash! She could feel the muddy water seeping into the hole on her shoes. Splash! Splash! Now the murky drops were getting her clothes dirty too. “Oh Lord, please let a familiar car pass by, so I can get a hitch ride to school,” She prayed.

            A few minutes later, their neighbor’s motorcycle passed by, and splashed her more of the brown substance. “Hop in Shiela. I’ll take you to school,” Shiela was disgruntled at the sudden kindness of her neighbor, and thanked the Lord for answering her prayers. It wasn’t a slick and chic car, but it made her trip easier. She accepted the neighbor’s offer and thanked him with a wide toothy grin. “Thank you for the ride, kuya!”

            In the middle of the road, the engine of the motorcycle came to a sputtering stop. Their neighbor shouted a string of curses, which made Shiela wince. Her mother never cursed even when the going gets tough. Shiela thanked the driver again before she started walking once more.

A few more steps brought her to a bakery owned by their rich neighbor. Although she had breakfast earlier, her stomach gave a quiet growl as the smell of freshly baked bread waft throughout the area. “Hmmmm. Lord I hope I can eat delicious bread from that bakery,” she prayed silently as she inhaled the pleasant smell. Suddenly, their middle aged neighbor bumped her from behind which caused her to topple over.

“I’m so sorry Shiela. Here, take this biscuits as a sign of my apology,” the middle-aged man handed her the biscuits. Shiela was bruised, but she silently thanked the Lord for their neighbor’s sweet pity. It wasn’t the bread she hoped for, but it can cover the gnawing hunger she felt. She ate the biscuits and thanked him with a healthy smile. “Thank you for the biscuits manong!”

They ate while walking for a while, when another man rushed past them and bumped their middle-aged neighbor on his shoulder blades. Their neighbor shoved the man, and a brawl ensued after their tempers ran out. Shiela’s mother never spanked her even if she sometimes crossed the lines. Shiela hurriedly backed away from the slowly gathering crowd, and made her way to school alone.

A few more blocks, and she would finally reach the school gates, when her hand stitched bag gave way and spilled the contents of her bag- tattered books, broken pencils and scratch papers- on the ground. “Oh Lord! Please help me get through this day,” she prayed silently, while she busily picked her things. Her eyes suddenly blurred with tears from all the misfortune she encountered even before the day fully started.

A hand tapped her shoulders as she stood up. It was their old neighbor this time, holding a sturdy bag in one hand, and a cane on the other hand. Shiela looked up as their old neighbor placed the bag in her hands. “I’m supposed to give that to my daughter, but she already owns a collection of bags. This would help your cause more,” the old man smiled a sad smile. Shiela, feeling ashamed of her poverty, silently received the bag with nothing but a sniff. Her words of thank you were stuck on her throat. Out of sheer happiness, she hugged the old man and helped him cross the street.

“Thank you lolo. I will never lose this bag, and I will take care of it as much as I can,” she muttered the words, when she finally calmed down. “It is nothing child. Just pray to the Lord, keep your faith and dreams close to your heart, and never give up on your education. That’s the only treasure that will never be taken from you,” the old man patted her head lightly as they made their way through the busy streets.

Suppression

            

             The world could go on better off without this word: Suppression. The world seems to deal with this issue since forever. People have to contend with the meager lifestyle that suppression offers them. It’s such a pitiful state to see so much innovation, and yet, the world still remains with a caveman’s mentality: their baser and wilder instinct still provokes them to win the race in ways that would step on other people’s dignity. Sad? Disgusting? Unbelievable? Yes, but simply open your eyes to reality, and you will see the real world.

Everyone has a thing or two to say to someone. At some point in a relationship, one party would snap. That’s where suppression begins- with a little burst of emotion. Emotion will fuel the negativity of a person, and would eventually lead to suppression. Hidden feelings, unheard voices, unacknowledged efforts, unchanged habits-all of these contribute to the growing suppression within society. For those who’ve never known peace all their lives- like the people in warring countries or average children unnoticed by society- suppression becomes the trigger and the clutch that they hold on to for survival. They live their daily doctrines with the thought of suppression hanging over their heads. Although, one may not think of being suppressed consciously, one’s actions and expressions are still obviously under the confines of suppression.

Despite a person’s attempts to enjoy life, the threat of being kicked to the dirt lingers like a pungent smell. Young children could never voice their longing for attention, teens could never voice their need for acknowledgement, adults could never voice their cry for change. All of these hidden underneath layers of routines, work, parties and all other things that a person does to erase the word suppression written on their skins. But it’s still there. When alone and thinking, one would realize the unbecoming of their dreams, all because of suppressed emotions and dignity.

We couldn’t help everybody else, but we could start with a simple, happy conversation. Words that could encourage and heal instead of probing ones that could instigate anxiety are enough to ease the restrains. Accepting and understanding one another without giving in to emotional barriers can gradually move mountains. Don’t be afraid to make friends, and don’t ever suppress a smile.

My next post will be a storytelling piece I am writing for a competition. I hope it will be good enough to win our college an award. God Bless us all.

04- A habit that you wish you didn't have

                  

                     Life is never without habits. People change and learn to move with the resiliency that innovation and change brings. Some people say that one does not change, but the slightest detail in your lifestyle, the slightest blemish on your face, the slightest shift in your attitude is a sign of change. Mortality in itself changes a person entirely. The only constant thing in this world is change itself.

                My life is full of ups and downs. Throughout the years that passed by, I have formed and outgrown from one habit to the next. Some habits easily pass by, while some stay like a thorn on my side. I’m not saying that most of my habits are bad. I could call them distracting, but it was never bad. One old habit that I could never seem to get off is my fetish for handkerchiefs and hand towels. I was not even conscious of the first time I ever had this addiction. My mother said that during my infant years, I could never sleep well without a hand towel nearby. Sooner, they noticed that I always had a hand towel n my grip, and got used to squishing it. Ever since, I never slept or left the house without a hand towel or handkerchief in my hands. Admittedly, I don’t bring handkerchiefs often anymore (in fear of losing them, or leaving them anywhere), but I still hang on to my hand towels at home.

                This cute and childish habit seems to stay forever in me, but I never really wish for it to leave just yet. I have other habits that I really want to get rid of. One certain habit is my negative consistency. I easily learn things. I’m not really a fast learner, but I easily get used to things. The bad perk that came along with it, is my tendency to get consistent, once I reach a certain point, and just stay stagnant. I won’t get better, or worse about it, but consistent. I don’t want this habit to go on. I want to discover all doors of possibilities and chances.

                Life is never getting easier. It’s either you fly to the top of the mountain, or you fall to a steep decline. It’s your choice. Killing a habit or becoming confident is a choice, not an option. You have to pick the knife to start cracking that shell, and not wait for the light to simply penetrate through the small holes.

03- A picture of you and your friends

Hmm. I believe I don’t mind having lots of friends. I mean lots of true friends. Although, there are only a few friends I would call true, and fewer so that I could call real, I still value the meaning of friendship. It’s a bond different from family. Severing it could cause breakdown, so I try not to inconvenient them as much as possible.

                Let’s start from the friends I acquired during my elementary years. These people were the first people I called friends. We even had a name for our group: The French Club. I got separated from them during high school, which created a gap in our friendship. Nowadays, I have no contact with them, and only kept tabs with them through facebook. Although our friendship was short lived, and we are more on formal terms these days, I still remember the moments we had together, and the childhood I spent with them.

                Let’s go to the college friends I just recently met. Okay, not so recent, since I’ve been with these people for more than a year. They’re fun to be with, and don’t let the assumptions about our course get to them. At first glance, people might think that we’re rowdy, annoying and way over our heads, but if you get to know them for who they really are, I’m sure you’d like them.

                And now, tandadadan~

Meet GATB. Well, I’ve explained a lot about them on my first post. I love these girls, and I miss them all so terribly.  I haven’t seen some of them for a while, and I wish so bad to meet them again soon. They are what I call the in-between. I don’t call them bestfriends or sisters, because that seemed to put a limitation to what we could do together. Well, I love you guys, and I miss you all so bad.

Lastly, I would love to introduce my all-supporting cousin- Van Alens Cabana. She is my bestfriend/ sister/ cousin. I really love her. I miss her so much already. I haven’t seen her for months due to her migration to a different country. Things are really different now that I don’t have her around to hang out with.

Martyrdom

                Many definitions pop up in your heads once you hear this word. Well, even I was baffled when I first heard this word. I mean, who would gladly give up themselves just for the sake of proving their point or faith? I probably won’t, but come to think of it-dying for what you believe in sounds heroic, noble even. Back then, I thought that martyrdom always comes with death, but now, I think it’s just a proof of how big your heart could be, and how it could endure anything. Even the fangs of death would not bar you because of this great faith.

                The word martyr came from the Latin word martirez, which means witness. Apparently, martyrs are known to have witnessed the truth, but still kept holding on to their faith no matter how excruciating the consequences are. This undying love didn’t have a huge impact on me before, but through the tests of time, I’ve learned to respect and look up to those martyrs who hold on to their words even if the effects of their actions could cause them more than just their lives. It’s amazing how their great love and faith could move mountains, even after they’ve experienced humiliation and pain.

                Some people casually shrug off the idea of martyrdom. Others would even condemn and criticize badly, because of their seemingly blind love for something. But, personally, I think those martyr people we hear from the television or from the gossips that reach our ears, are a thousand times note worthy than us. After all, they gave up their chance at happiness just for love. Take for example-Jesus Christ. He died for the sake of us sinners. Another would be Lorenzo Ruiz. He would rather die than renounce his faith. Pedro Calungsod is another one- a newly proclaimed saint by the Catholic Church- because he died protecting his colleagues. These people, although we never met them personally, are great examples of martyrs who would give up their lives just to redeem the eternal life promised by God.

                Ah, the very thought of eternal life makes me want to cry. Oh well. We’ll just have to do everything to prove that we are worthy to be called as children of the Lord. It’s not an easy path if I must say, but we could look at the martyr mothers who would take the beating of their sadistic husbands just to protect their children; or the martyr fathers who will work their fingers to the bones just to feed their family; or even your friends who will keep on extending their hands to you, even if you continually push them away. These simple acts of love are stepping stones towards achieving the eternal glory of happiness found in Heaven.

LEADS

Leadership empowering and development seminar or LEADS was held last December 19-21, 2012 at Initao, Misamis Oriental. It was a three-day seminar full of fun-filled activities, productive speeches from prominent speakers, and new friends. The seminar aims to enlighten promising student leaders., through cultivating the unit of the leaders with numerous activities.

          At first , I hesitated on coming along. I am not particularly fond of going to places with people I am not acquainted with. Later though, as the seminar went further, I realized that I would have regretted a lot if I didn't come. It was fun. So much fun. Gadgets were confiscated right after breakfast, and we were only allowed to use them during meals and after the day was over. That rule brought me to a realization- counting time will only limit the fun and learning, whereas not knowing about the passing seconds will make you treasure the moment with the people around you.

There were strict rules imposed on us too, and I just broke one of them. It didn't really matter though. At the end, or team got the most responsible team award. Oh, I shall introduce you to the teams. During the first day, we were asked to pick popsicle sticks scattered all throughout the ICT building. I picked a popsicle stick with the word Goodness written on it. Little did I know that that activity was to designate us to our group. All students who picked Goodness were part of the Pink team. I really don't like the caller pink, and so when we were asked to pick the animals that our team should represent, I was so glad that they chose the panther. Pink Panthers in short.

Although I hated the idea of being part of the Pink team, I didn't hate my groupmates. They were nice, friendly people, who gives their honest opinions in each of our activities. We ate together, planned together and presented together. I would miss them truly.

So much for that, let us not forget the unfortunate events that bore bad news to the CAS officers. Certain matters concerning our money from the bank brought me and Neil (he's our treasurer, at the same time my schoolmate since high school) back to CDO. The organizers allowed us to finish our transaction, and gave us ample time to go to CDO and back again before dusk. It was a tiring trip, since we the two of us were both standing for more than an hour. The buses were cramped, and we were left with no choice. I also had my period during the duration of the seminar, which sucked even more.

This picture shows how haggard we were on the way back to Initao. Although, the expenses were not ours, and there was food on our bellies, the obvious fatigue was catching up to us.

Over-all, the experience was worth remembering. Moments like this should be grabbed and we should not let them pass.

02- The meaning behind your Blogger name

Gelloid is another name that came up from the random nicknames that my friends inducted me with. I’m amazed at our knack of inventing nicknames that are usually longer than our real names. I think we are weird that way, but I don’t really mind.

                Ezzy is the first to call me in that nickname. At first, it sounded weird, because I associated it with androids, mechanical stuff and tablets. Gradually I got used to putting the suffix oid to almost every name I encounter. Luckily, the brief habit never affected my grades or any particular event in my life. It just reminded me of small things that could make me happy, or of things that made me grateful because I have six awesome friends that accepts my weirdness meter.

                Gelloid became a practical name to me, because it isn’t hard to remember. Also, it’s quite close to my real name. I have a few website accounts using that name, which always reminds me of its convenience. I decided to use that as my blogger name because it reminds me of happiness and carefree moments; of simplicity and the perks of teenage impulsiveness. Basically, the name reminds me of childhood, which is slowly spinning away from my grip.